i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
