thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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