Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
