so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
