How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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