part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
