fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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