Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
