these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
