I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
