you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
