oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
