I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
