i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
