I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
