Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
