Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
