He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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