i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
