I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
