does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
