Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
