If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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