he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
