Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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