My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
