We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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