Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you didnt know i had herpes?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
