why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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