What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
