I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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