Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
