wat bout pragnant strippers??
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she pinky promised me she was 18
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
