Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
