I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
