Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
