WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
