he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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