I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
