Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
