Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
