ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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