I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
