Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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