shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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