I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
