is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
