This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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