I have demons in me.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
