Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I would ride that face into the sunset
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
