I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
